dreams

Nov 29, 2022

I'm in my hometown with my mom, trying to drive her car. I'm having trouble reaching the break pedal as I park, then find her in the store and say "I keep having dreams where I can't reach the break pedal, and I'm wondering if it's because of your car". I later insist we go to Harvey's for poutine, since I keep having dreams where I visit my hometown and try to go.

When I wake up, I remember that seeing my mom alive is a good way to know I'm in a dream.

Nov 9, 2022

My extended family is eating a non-vegetarian meal and I'm stressed about figuring out what I'll eat. So instead I go upstairs and isolate myself on the computer, which is more comfortable anyways. An old lover surprises me with a hug from behind, and later my partner joins and we all cuddle.

Sep 12, 2022

I'm at an event and it's running late. I tell them I need to go to class, and they blow me off saying it's only 8:45am. But classes started at 8:30! I used to be such a good student, and now that I'm less of a perfectionist I'm afraid I'll fail all my classes, and it's my last semester so that would be very inconvenient.

Aug 22, 2022

I'm at a local small business, where I'd offered to close the store for the day. While I'm closing, someone pulls a knife on me. I run away even though I know they're robbing the place, and while biking home I see the thief on the road. I try to decide if I should go back to the store and lock it to avoid further breakins, but don't want to because it feels dangerous. Eventually I call someone and continue to bike home. I walk by the next day and see the storeowner there. I'm sad because this business is important to a big community and it's been hard for them to stay in business.

Aug 16, 2022

I'm in high school and I'm overwhelmed. I got to music class late and am having trouble with the technical skill drills. I try to sing a descending scale and fall flat. During class break, I sit on the stairs outside the classroom and take out a fancy interactive kit that teaches how astronauts store and eat food. My classmates crowd around me and eat the food in it, and I get upset, and they don't stop, and eventually the food is all gone. A classmate asks me if I said my affirmations yet that day. I say I'd forgotten. He says the reason I'm anxious is that I take poor care of myself.

Aug 16, 2022

I'm in a video game that takes place in the desert and we're trying to get to a safe patch of green land in the distance. My buddy and I dash between different places to take cover, and I direct them to shoot people. We get closer to the green patch but it gets harder the closer we get. Eventually I feel like I should maybe give up. I think "maybe I have a weaker will to live than average".

(The average I was thinking of in the dream is probably just characters in the heist book I was reading :p)

Aug 15, 2022

Some extended dream relating to ten people fused together and turned into an evil octopus.

Jul 13, 2022

My ex-partner is visiting me. It's right before our break up, and I want to spend more quality time together but they're not free. I get covid but the symptoms go away so fast that I forget and hang out with a group of people. I'm scared I've given people covid, I'm scared my partner will get covid, I'm scared they'll be upset with me.

But then I remember I'm in a parallel universe. Apparently this universe has dinosaurs and a large population of indigenous people. The dinosaurs were discriminated against and the world was very human-centered. All living beings have been summoned to an auditorium. As we gather together killer bees are released, and somehow I escape with some housemates. We go around the house tiptoeing, trying to find bees. Each time we find a bee, we suck it up with a vacuum.

Feb 6, 2022

My sibling drops some of my binders on the ground and papers spew out all over the floor. I tryto put them back in but they keep dropping more and more binders. I'm frustrated because there's an event going on that I wanted to attend -- but I can't, because I'm picking up the papers.

Somehow this dream is more stressful than the other dream I remember from that night, a dream where there were fighting and explosions going on.

January 17, 2022

I'm on one of those ski trips that aren't actually ski trips but a bunch of teens partying. After finding my hotel room, I organize my clothes into piles so that I can create outfits more easily, but it's all over the floor.

I'm on a roller coaster. The subway? A roller coaster. My mom shouts "you forgot your cat gloves" and throws them at my face while I'm riding the rollar coaster. Her aim is impressive but since I'm so startled I don't catch the gloves. They fall below me to a place I'll never be able to retrieve them. I'm upset.

I see my friend on the subway. (A roller coaster? This time it's a subway.) She asks if I'm going to Ikea. I tell her I'm visiting NY from out of town. She nods. We just stand there.

I'm hanging out with someone in a wheelchair. Someone comes out of nowhere and grabs her wheelchair, and she's on the ground and upset. I confront the man in front of the crowd that's now emerged. He grabs me and holds me over several precarious places, threatening to kill me. He threatens to drop me off a tall place, threatens to drop me into lava. The crowd pursuades him not to kill me, and I end up safe in the end.

January 5, 2022

I had a chain of waking up, where I'd wake up but it was still a dream, then I'd eventually realize but then wake up in to another dream and so on.

There were lots of different situations where I was in a bed with different people around me, and I remember trying to record myself saying my dream out loud to remember the dream. I was trying to tell people my dreams while I still remembered them.

One dream I was telling people: There was an assignment where we brought in rotting food. Or it could be fresh, and then people could eat it, but if was rotting then people would need to keep a distance. The teacher pulled a glass container off of some super rotten stuff, and a huge swarm of bugs from all directions came to it. And then this extremely massive bee, like bigger than any actual bee, came in carrying a rotting banana in its legs.

January 4, 2022

Stressful dreams. Got off at the wrong subwaystop. Wore platform shoes and couldn't walk very quickly. Was at school but no one was masking and I was worried we'd all get Omicron.

April 24, 2021

Two snippets:

April 19, 2021

I'm sitting in a classroom for a math test and I realize I didn't study or even go through the practice test, but I'm good at math so I still feel confident. The teacher hands out the tests and the instructions are super vague and also ...not math? It seems like the first page is asking me to label meme templates, but I don't recognize most of the memes and don't know any of their names. I can't tell if a plant on my desk is one of the questions or if it just happens to be there. I call the teacher over to be like what is this ridiculous test and she just kinda shrugs.

March 28, 2021

I'm in a school (my middle school) and people are trying to capture me. I rush to the music room and ask the music teacher to let me stay in her locked classroom, and I hide behind the timpani in the corner. When she realizes there are people with guns around, she encourages students to come in sit in the classroom to stay safe. We all eat some sandwiches and drink from juice boxes as we wait. But apparently the people looking for me have authority and are conencted to the school, so they keep coming into the classroom and looking around. I'm shocked none of them notice me hiding behind the timpani. Then one of the gunned people does notice me and is about to take me away or shoot me or something, but then my music teacher shoots them (and then it's as if that person never existed, there's no followup at all). The principal comes in and says everything is fine now, and everyone returns to normal.

I tell my music teacher that the reason people are trying to get me is that my spine is like a book spine, and show her my back to prove it. I don't really know why I look that way. She hides me in her classroom for a while longer.

Feb 26, 2021

I'm trying to catch a bus to work (or maybe school?) from the neighborhood I grew up in. I left pretty late and keep walking towards downtown because no buses are coming. I get to Bank Street and there are buses, but only ones that continue down Bank and none going into Billings Bridge station. I walk towards the station and some folks are loitering. A punk kid says something like "there are some people making trouble inside" but I figure they're just heckling me. But when I get inside the station, someone demands to take all my stuff. I refuse, and then they grab me and threaten violence. I say don't have anything of value in my backpack (probably a lie) and they ask me to prove it. I say sure. They loosen their grip on me so I can take off my backpack, and as I take it off I smack them in the face with it and run outside the station. They grab onto me just as I'm almost outside, but I shout and some officers outside see me (somehow the police don't pay attention to things inside the station, only outside) and the person lets go of me.

Eventually, I make it onto a bus. I'm super late for work (school?), more than I've maybe ever been. And it turns out if you're on this bus route around 4pm, you get free pizza! They bring it around the bus for everyone. I consider taking the bus this late more often, but it's probably a bad idea to get to work (school?) this late so often.

Feb 25, 2021

I'm walking around a park while a fair or something is happening. I see a bunch of people walking around with these sticks with flat mango stuff on it (sort of like a popsicle, but maybe it was raw juicy mango flesh without a pit) and various toppings attached to it, and everyone is talking about how yummy it is. I think maybe there's a free promotion going on, since so many people had it. So I wander to the stand to see what all the fuss is about. The line is short that I'm like, you must be out of the stick things then? But they say nope and give me one. I hand it someone through a window and ask for toppings. They ask if I want onion and potato and I'm like hmmm I thought it would be sweet not savory. And there are also sweet toppings (fruit) but I realize I'm hungry for onion and potato and mushrooms and stuff, but it would taste weird on a mango stick. So I get the sweet toppings even though I now know I actually want a savoury meal instead. I wake up hungry :p

Feb 20, 2021

I'm in a mall and two of my friends have manequins modeled after them in a lingerie store (context: one of them has a lingerie insta account). The lingerie sets they own are displayed with the manequins, and there are little plaques about my friends like in a museum.

I walk by the helpdesk and a bunch of folks from my loose high school social circle are coworking there. I feel sort of sad and excluded, but they invite me to join.

One of my friends also apparently works the helpdesk. I see her in the bathroom and she's like, oh no the bathroom is out of masks and I need another one. Then she's suddenly wearing a very decorative metal mask that clearly doesn't protect against covid (it's more of a masquerade mask).

Feb 17, 2021

I'm in a computer lab and trying to help someone (by doing something to all the computers?) but the person is being so upset or rude that I decide to leave. A friend encourages me to give them feedback about this.

I head to another room (I think it's the MC Comfy lounge at UWaterloo) and see an old friend across the room. I'm excited to see him! He had dropped a bunch of papers so I help collect them, sort of as a flirtatious move. I notice someone I used to have a lot of conflict with, who I also hadn't seen in years. She comes nearby, and I move out of the area to avoid her. She calls my name and I leave the room into the big open hallway. She comes after me and says something like how she's felt the way I feel before too, and says she misses me. I force a smile and ask how she's doing. She just talks for a super long time and then someone else comes and picks me up and carries me back to the Comfy and I'm like thank you thank you and hug her.

She's wearing a silver formal dress. A loved one is across the room but leaves and comes back in a formal suit. I'm confused why everyone is dressed so fancy. They get into pairs and march away with a chant that reveals (1) that they are pairs of freshman and seniors and (2) that this is a tradition where they dress up fancy and go to pizza hut.

I feel left out and also kind of amused

Dec 10, 2020

At a huge fancy banquet dinner, I ask for an ice cube for my wine and the waiter pours my glass of ice water into my wine glass and I'm like... mmmmm not really what I wanted.

A group performs and they seem like maybe they're the SF roller disco people (I recognize some of them), but the music isn't disco. The program says it's "teen dancing". At some point they all bend over and twerk and we all cheer.

A separate dream that night: I meet someone through OKCupid and go to his house for a first date and he's sweet and we snuggle and it's nice. He has several housemates and there's like 10 people inside and I'm afraid to ask him what they do for covid. I figure that if they're casually letting me here, this house probably takes on more risk than I want to expose myself to, but... the snuggling and making out is so nice...

Nov 10, 2020

I'm in a summer camp, I'm a camper (though I'm not a young child or anything). There's some sort of medieval situation going on with our buildings and outfits. They say we're going to go to war with the king nearby. I feel nervous about this - is it dangerous? Will people get hurt?

I call my dad, just in case I'm about to die, just to update him on the situation. I tell him how I'm not even really sure what's about to happen - like, it seems like the medieval setup isn't actually real, so is this battle going to be real?

I talk to a counsellor. I say something like "I know you're not actually bald and it's just a fancy hat you're wearing. Is this war the same kind of thing?" and he's like "oh no, it's super real. we really don't like that king"

Children are travelling in neat single file lines with their counsellors down a path towards another staff member handing out guns. This is really concerning. I think maybe my camp group has already left? I call my mom to let her know I might die soon.

As I'm calling her, I see that the camp isn't like, doing some close range fighting stuff. They're lined up on a hill in a big crowd, shooting these fancy guns and cannons or something to a hill on the other side of the river. (I suppose the kind lives there.) This is relieving until these huge floating robots come and start attacking the group. Kids are running out of the way, but some are definitely dying. I'm freaking out on the phone with my mom, one robot thing comes really close to me and is like, shooting fire at me.

After this, I don't remember as much, but I think there was a scene later where I was talking to a teenager who was tasked with leading a troop, who's stressed about how many dead and injured folks there are in the buildings. Obviously I'm pretty upset. Like, how important was it to attack this king person that we needed to sacrifice all these children's lives? What the fuck?? I think I wake up around that point

Sep 15, 2020

There's a party going on at my friend's place in NY (they're not running it though, a housemate is) and I bike over but I'm super early so I'm wondering around the apartment building with my bike. I'm looking for a bathroom but a lot of them are kinda gross. There are huge groups of kids (school groups?) biking through the halls and down the stairs.

I find bathroom stall in a weird corner with a door a bit raised from the ground, and open it and stick my bike inside totally vertically, there's a tidy spot for it. It's a very fancy bathroom, pink and fluffy esque, and there's also some lady sitting in there beside the toilet? Which is a bit weird but not weird enough for me to not use it. The two of us chat while I use the bathroom, and the stall is cramped but very clean and there's even a headrest for me against the wall made out of spare toilet paper rolls. It feels luxurious. There are little drawers of tic tacs and very small packages of other things - I almost take one but I'm like ehh I don't super want it and it's super inefficiently packaged and wasteful, so I don't take any.

While I'm washing my hands, there's Beethoven playing and me and the lady are both into it and I'm singing along. When I step out of the stall I'm like, wait where's my bike, and the lady was like oh I just put it in the hallway. And I can't find it. I'm like wtf I take such care to make sure this bike isn't stolen and you just left it unwatched in the hallway??? I'm crying heavily and yelling at her, I'm devastated. I wake up soon after that.

May 13, 2020

The last couple hours of sleep included a lot of thinking I was awake but then waking up (or, "waking up")

I was on a couch and met a new co-worker and told them I kept thinking I had awoken but hadn't, and that I was sleepy and apologized for that

I many times thought I had written down dreams

Dreams I was trying to write down:

There was one point I realized I was dreaming because I could look from the kitchen to the front door and the room between was unfamiliar and the door was bigger and the outside really pretty. I tried to go to the door but could only float, then eventually I started walking over. I started waking up, tried spinning, ended up in a library but there were no details or things happening so I woke up

I remember hiding extra toilet paper in a small cottage behind our house that was only big enough for a bed and only I knew about

I remember trying to figure out how much to pay for 2 cans of soda with my sibling, and me and them and the person selling to us couldn't all agree. There was a soda fee and then some other added fee, so it was like (x+y)*2 but when I was trying to calculate it they kept interrupting and we kept arguing about what x and y were.

I remember a later dream where I told that dream to someone and they were amused