emptiness and exhilaration

from evy's notebook

i don't want to push myself when i am pushed i fall down and bruise my knees schoolyard bully pushing myself hidden monsters to run from sharp words and dizziness

i don't want to push myself i want to move forward because i want to because i feel like it, because i have a spring in my step

when i don't feel like it, i sit down, and i cry, and i wait