🌱

an abridged tour of my room

from evy's notebook
Evy Kassirer, February 2016, bingo marker on sticky note. Khan Academy, Mountain View, California.
I was sitting in my employer's unfinished basement, calling my mom and sibling as I doodled with some art tools that someone had left scattered across the table. My mom was pretty sick, but she said we didn't need to worry. She said she'd let us know if things were looking bad, if she wanted us with her. A few weeks later I scheduled a flight to Ottawa and helped her set up her assisted death.

Silvi Alcivar, October 2018, typewriter and gold pen on paper. Madrone Art Bar, San Francisco, California.
One of my favourite poets was doing an exhibit at a nearby art bar, and I bought this poem I loved from her. While I was there, I ordered a custom poem that she wrote on her typewriter just for me. Someone I was dating at the time said her poem was mediocre, that it read as if someone had taken my interests and put them through an AI poem generator. It's frustrating how much my opinions can be swayed by the people I'm close to, and it saddens me that my enjoyment of this poet's work has been considerably dampened since that night.

Evy Kassirer, July 2019, magazine cutouts on stretched canvas. My old room, San Francisco, California.
Struck by inspiration one evening, I stayed up long past midnight splaying hundreds of magazine cutouts across my bedroom floor and layering them into satisfying arrangements. Every time I look at them, I feel a familiar aching and angst. It's comforting.

Wesley Aptekar-Cassels, date unknown, orange felt. New York City, New York.
My partner sewed this felt octopus years ago, and gave it to me when I noticed it and said it was cute. They didn't make it for me, but sometimes I pretend it was a carefully crafted and personalized gift. It watches over me as I work.

Evy Kassirer, February 2017, embroidery. University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario.
I was sitting on a couch in the FemPhys lounge on campus, attending a well-needed evening of arts & crafts to destress from midterms. A blank embroidery hoop rested in my hands as I wracked my brain for creative ideas. I eventually chose to spell out two words that felt important to me, and when I met Wesley a year later these same words were at the top of their twitter bio: "kind && curious".

Evy Kassirer, July 2020, fresh decor. My new room, San Francisco, California.
In the five years I attended university, I moved over ten times. Each bedroom I moved into could be easily transformed into "Evy's room" within an hour - I just put up my travelling collection of small momentos on my walls. The collection has changed over the years, but it always surrounds me with dozens of memories and reminders of what's important to me. When I step into my current room - where I've only lived for a few weeks - I feel at home.