care guide for an anxious evy
from evy's notebook
If you encounter an evy with any of the following traits, they might be feeling anxious:
- moving slowly
- restless and fidgety
- neutral resting face
- audible breathing
- short responses to small talk
- not engaging with ambient conversation, but still looking at people when they speak
It may be difficult for evy to ask directly for support because of a fear of others feeling pressured into helping. If you would like to care for them, you can follow the steps below:
- Reflect on your inner state. Do you want to engage? Are you able to set boundaries if you need to disengage or change the flow of the conversation? Only offer care if you can do it honestly.
- Ask evy how they are feeling. They will probably answer honestly, and this will help you confirm if they are anxious.
- Make a genuine offer to do any of the following:
- Hug. Be an oxytocin dispenser. Long hugs and snuggles are especially nice.
- Listen. They might be open to sharing why they are anxious, and it will easier to share if it is clear someone else is open to listening. Ask follow-up questions to ideally reach a state where you can honestly express that it makes sense that they feel anxious. Do not offer solutions or reassurance until they seem confident that you understand their feelings and where they are coming from.
- Compliment. Say something nice that is specific and nuanced enough that it is believable. Depth is better than breadth.
- Distract. Start a conversation that they can engage heavily in, or offer to do an activity together. Sometimes brains just needs a chemical reset. It can be a lot easier to figure out challenges at times when anxiety is not intensely present.
Thank you for reading this care guide. Please note that effectiveness may vary. For further detail or feedback, please contact your local cheerful evy.