emptiness and exhilaration

from evy's notebook

I don't want to reach for you in moments of slow emptiness when my sense of self has grown muted and scattered beyond my grasp.

You adore intensity. Rainbows will flicker on blank walls when white becomes my everything as the outside world fades away and it's just you and me and none of my problems and all of my problems and I'm filled with emptiness and exhilaration and

I'm afraid of forgetting what was before, and also now. But isn't it so sweet to be here in the moment together?

with you.