learning to believe

from evy's notebook

I used to think affirmations were silly hash-tag-inspo phrases that were pretending to be deep, but recently I've been saying affirmations to myself regularly and... I think it's helping?

A few months ago, I was feeling like shit and trying to calm myself by repeating alternative thoughts to the anxious ones looping in my brain. I knew in theory that the alternative thoughts were true, but I could not believe it in my gut, I could not get my body to feel like I was safe.

I used to mostly tell myself "things will be okay" and "it's fine to be anxious" in moments of panic, and those thoughts had become associated with feelings of fear. I wondered if I said those things to myself in calmer times when I could believe them in my gut, maybe I could learn what it felt like to believe them even while anxious. And I guess that's affirmations?

I've edited and added to the affirmations since originally writing them, making sure that they're phrased to be things I can wholeheartedly agree with. Here is the current iteration of the things I'm learning to believe:

No one is ever required to provide care for someone else, but I, like every human, am deserving of care.

I'm deserving of care x4

I am anxious or sad sometimes. This is ok. It might make some things feel harder, but things will still be okay.

It's okay to be anxious x4

It's safe for me to fail. I have friends, wisdom, and money. It's safe to completely fuck up. It's *good* to sometimes completely fuck up. Things will be okay.

It's safe for me to fail x4

I, like every human, am imperfect. I will sometimes be boring, lack the skills or motivation to do something well, say rude or uninformed things, and hurt people. This is normal and okay.

I'm motivated to learn things and to improve my self and my life, and I have motivations other than fear.

I have motivations other than fear x4

My thoughts and opinions are often valuable and worth sharing. My needs are valuable. It's good to ask for things I want.

What I want matters x4

Regardless of what others think of me, I am a wonderful human being.
Regardless of what others think of me, I am proud of myself.
Regardless of what others think of me, I'm glad to be exactly who I am right now.