my confidence is not like your confidence

from evy's notebook

When you share your opinion,
it's clear you believe
you are right.
People turn to you and nod.
You have the fancy words,
the fancy facts you read in that fancy place.
Of course you're right.
You take over the room with your confidence.
But also, you take over
my mind.

I want to be confident,
to feel confident,
to hold my ground.
But the ground I want to hold onto is
not my opinions,
it's the land on which my opinions roam and grow
and play with each other
and sleep in the sun.

Do you not see how you take up space?
Are you not curious to explore my world?
I can't see.
I can't see!
How do you take up so much space to
obscure my
vision like this?

I want to be confident.
But not confident like you.

My confidence is curiosity.
My confidence is loving myself.
My confidence is trusting that I can contribute, that I can be right.
My confidence is not like your confidence.
It takes up space, but it also
creates space for others.