pick a color

a play written in the neo-futuristic aesthetic | shared in evy's notebook

I want to draw something. [Name of person in audience], can you tell me what to draw?

And what color marker should I use?

(start drawing on a big piece of paper that they can see, do this silently for 5-10 seconds)

Sometimes, when I'm anxious -- (turn head to face audience) which I'm not right now (continue drawing) -- I have trouble making decisions.

I think people often make decisions by just choosing something that feels intuitively good, and meeting every option with fear makes that a lot harder.

I like asking people to make decisions for me sometimes, and I think I do this -- (turn to face audience) not now, but sometimes (continue drawing) -- because I'm afraid of making the wrong choice. If [color] ends up being looking weird or boring in this drawing, at least I can just say [Name] chose it and it wasn't my fault.

(turn to face audience member) Okay, I want to add another color, which one should I use?

(switch markers and keep drawing)

So it all ties back to being afraid that the things I make aren't good enough -- (turn to face audience) which I sometimes feel, but not now, but maybe a little bit, but don't worry about it (continue drawing) -- and so I want to be making good decisions to make good art, so that I'll like it, and so that you'll like it.

(finish drawing)

(to audience member) So, do you like my drawing?